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Saturday, October 6, 2012

Some whoppers I heard in court

Think all people are basically good and unselfish? Head to a courtroom when it's time for voir dire -- the process of selecting a jury. You will hear the most outrageous things and outright lies told just so that people can get away from the situation.

I went through this last year and got to hear all of this stuff. Here it is, a courtroom full of supposedly grown-up people, and the things they said were just amazing. One guy basically said that "he trusts anything a policeman might say no matter what". One of the lawyers (or maybe even the judge) asked him "what if they said two plus two equals five?" and his response was "sure, if it came from a cop". They let him go.

I wanted to have a t-shirt made that basically said "2 + 2 = 5?" with a police badge type thing under it and "OK" under that, but it would have been a pretty limited in-joke, and I couldn't have worn it to court anyway.

Another person basically said that they can "just tell from the energy". This is pretty much a new-age version of George Carlin's routine about how you can spot a guilty person "just like that". The thing is, here in the land of fruits and nuts, it actually worked. She got a pass, too.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. People who can live with their consciences (or who don't have one, I guess) can pull off quite a few evil things to get what they want. Sadly, such behavior is not limited to just the tech industry. It can be found all over the place.

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe you don't want those people on a jury, anyway. In that case, things work out for the best. Still, it's infuriating when you sit there and watch people lie through their teeth to 100+ other people. It's amazing that they can pull it off.