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Monday, January 28, 2013

Vacuum cleaner companies love their marketing numbers

Back on Saturday, I posted an advisory about keeping your computer's fans and air intakes fur-free to avoid problems related to overheating. I use a little no-name vacuum I picked up a couple of years ago to do exactly this.

This wouldn't be notable except for something snark-worthy I spotted while going to put it away. Look at this nonsense:

115 Volts of cleaning power

Right there: "115 Volts of cleaning power". What else would it be?

Or, hey, wow! The lights in my house must have 115 volts of illumination power! My car battery has 12 volts of starting power!

What incredible crap. It's a number that might look big, so they use it as a "feature". Why are vacuum cleaners universally broken this way?

If you haven't noticed, more than a few of the big floor-type vacuums have giant things written on the front like "4 AMP", and yes, they have it in BOLD. They're putting that out there like it's something to be proud of. Instead, it's really just declaring how much juice it sucks to get the job done.

It would be far more interesting to say how little power it takes as compared to some other company's device. If you can get the floor clean without noticeably accelerating the heat death of the universe, isn't that better somehow?

Also, "4x the power of battery units"? WTF is running at 28.75 volts? Where do they get this stuff?

Grumble, grumble.